WHAT CAN I EVEN SAY
longer post later, i'm tired now
but let's just say
high school was good. i'll miss it a lot just because its familiar.
but
i can't say i don't have any regrets (I HAVE TOO MANY)
and
i think i can do better.
to life beyond high school..

i believe that an essential part of becoming a comptent, well-adjusted human being is the ability to process one's experiences and what one learned from them. after all, if you can't learn from the past, isn't that time essentially wasted? you have nothing to show for it, physically or intellectually.

so i decided to interview some peers of mine on this last week of school and see what they learned from these past 4 years.

What have you learned from being in Diamond Bar High these past few years?

Leanne Fan: Diamond Bar is like America; it's imperfect, but you know that it's where you come from. You are proud of where you come from. As much as I don't like it, when people ask me where I come from, I say Diamond Bar. I realized that Diamond Bar has made me who I am; molded my passions.

Eliza Pan: To get what you want, you have to put up with a lot of crap.
It's true, I wouldn't be who I am if not for Diamond Bar. But then we're not as special as we think we are. There are people out there just like me, just like you. Wouldn't we be the same if we grew up anywhere else?
I guess it doesn't really matter because there are so many people who are better than me, worse than me, and most of all, the same as me. There is an overall picture of Eliza Pan somewhere else; maybe not the minute details, but the same overall person.

Yufeng Luo: I don't know. It was fun. What is there to learn, except literally?

Reshma Patel: I learned that people surprise you, and not in a good way. But then again, people have the ability and possibility to astound you. You think you know how a person is going to react to something; but then they just pull out something totally different. I learned how to deal with people; I think I've gotten better at that.

Pia Kochhar: Diamond Bar is what it is. Over the past four years, I have finally learned to accept things for what they are. All the things I hated about Diamond Bar were the things that made me think and become the person I am and want to become, at least for now. All the things I hated about Diamond Bar are now things that make me nostalgic. Diamond Bar will forever be my hometown, as lame as it sounds.

More to come...hopefully!

i think i'm going to create a new blog for my adventures in summer and my adventures in new york and kansas city. after all, new start= new blog=new start!

first steps:
1. not being a lazybutt when uploading pictures
2. actually taking pictures
3. being better at describing what goes on in my life instead of some stupid pithy one word summary
4. having a more exciting life to write about

hmm..now for a new name...

ALMOST THE END
OMFG

hmm hmmm hmmm
i feel so unsatisfied
for food?
for adventure?
for <3?
i have no idea.

I just went online and printed out three coupons for a free KFC Meal!
Three!
I'm so happy right now.

whoopee!

so today i officially got accepted into the metro ministries fall 2009 internship! i am definitely excited and more than a little relieved. metro ministries is basically an urban youth ministry located in bushwick, brooklyn. they run "sidewalk sunday schools" almost every day of thje week in an attempt to reach out to the community and preach the gospel. praise God!

but i found another opportunity to go to china for three months...hmmm....

i feel like i'm never satisfied! i always need adventure!

but i feel like i've gone such a long way to even be considering china as a possible destination in my future. for a long time, i hated being asian. when i first came to diamond bar, everything disgusted me: cue, fobs, the way everyone was totally ignorant regarding world/political events, the stupid chinese restaurants that my parents dragged me to (btw, i still loathe chinese food: i hate ' new capital'!)

but then i realized that they were just representations of the selfish, material culture that characterizes asians in diamond bar, or perhaps just diamond bar kids in general.

i recently read an article that talked about the duties of asian americans to their home countries, particularly in regards to chinese americans and china. the first missionaries in china were white. even today, many of the people serving there are of a different race: many koreans have recently started ministering there.

i feel drawn to china because in a way, i feel like that it is my "cultural duty", my "cultural calling." i may travel to any country in the world; all the places that i want to go: romania, poland, rwanda, uganda, bolivia, brazil: and do ministry. and it will be life-changing, sure. and in the same vein, a white person can go to china to do ministry and change lives also. but there is no question that i, as a chinese american, have a huge advantage over someone of a different race if i do decide to serve in china.

first of all, i speak the language.

second of all, i know the culture. though i grew up around white people in my school district, through church i developed a keen sense for the way asians think and the unique way eastern values shape their approach to Christianity and even their responses to the gospel message. i would go so far as to say that it isn't something that can be learned, from an outsider's perspective. it's something you have to be born into.

third of all, my looks. though the sight of a foreigner may be attention-grabbing at first, there is no doubt that, at least in china, chinese people trust other chinese people infinitely more. even if they're american born and raised, as i am.

will my road eventually lead me to china? i hope so! and for that, i thank diamond bar. though it hasn't been a perfect four years, it has taught me to appreciate and most importantly, value my culture as both something beautiful in itself and an effective advantage for spreading the gospel to the largest population on earth.